Thursday, March 17, 2011

Dream, Dream, Dream Dream....

I have about one "bad dream" a month. You? I just had one a couple of nights ago. It was so bad I have to wake up Craig. Actually, I wake him up every time I have a bad dream, not gonna lie to ya. Is that weird? And I can laugh about it now, but I was really scared at the time. I have dreams about ghosts sometimes, which really is Craig's fault, since he always watches "Ghost Hunters" and it's one of those things that you just can't stop watching. My mind goes off on these crazy scenarios before bedtime and then I know it's coming. I know I will be waking up (and waking Craig up) in a few hours. It's frustrating for Craig, I think, though he never really complains about it. Because when I wake him up, it's not like I tell him about the dream. I don't. I don't want to talk about it, I just want him to know I had a bad dream and that he needs to hug me a little closer. Alright, typing that makes me realize how crazy I sound, but it's true.

When I was little, I remember having a few recurring dreams. Of course, there's the standard "I went to school without my clothes on" dream, or the "I can't find my locker" dream where I ran all over the school and couldn't find my locker no matter where I looked and I would be in trouble for being late to class. I also had a dream a lot where my teeth fell out. Someone told me once that it means I am a control freak? Maybe I should google it, I'm not a control freak :) haha.

I remember a very, very scary recurring dream. It's hard for me to talk about it. In the dream I was sleeping in my bed, woke up and went to the attic (for some reason!?) and there were a bunch of monster/evil type people killing my sisters. (It's hard to even type) And the monsters made me help them or they would kill me too. Pretty scary even now, but I was about 10 when I started having this dream and it went on for a quite a while.

If you have ever been to the house I grew up in, you know there's a brick wall in the living room. I used to have dreams that a woman was buried alive in that wall (I think this was in a movie that I saw, that I was probably too young to watch!) and there was a period of time where I wouldn't even sit on the couch that backed up to that wall. It was just creepy to me.

A lot of times when I wake up from a bad dream, I don't want to go back to sleep. Not only because my mind is racing, but I have a tendency to finish the dream. For some reason, it doesn't just go away when I wake up. Most people I've talked to say that they never finish the dream, and it's a shame sometimes! Especially if you are having a dream that you don't want to end! I don't really remember those dreams. I tend to remember the bad dreams. And my poor husband does, too.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

"Hug Your Babies"

"Hug Your Babies," that's how Amy Price ends each one of her blogs. And it's so true. See, we should feel really lucky that we can hug our babies. Every night. Every morning. Every meal. Every smile. Every tear. I can hug my babies anytime I want to. And thanks to her story, (I hate saying the word "story" because this is no "story", it's real) I am. It's not that I didn't appreciate my children before I heard about the Price family. I really did. But their struggles have made me really stop and evaluate my life, my children, how I spend my time, and how I give my hugs.

Let me tell you a little bit about them, if you don't already know. Brad and Amy Price have 4 children. Two of which are in a fight for their lives. Her daughter, Liviana, was born with Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia, CDH, which has a 50/50 survival rate. To say she beat the odds is an understatement. 50/50... do you realize that's like the flip of a coin whether or not your baby will survive? She did. What a strong girl. And then, a few months after she turned 2, her parents noticed her falling down a lot, losing her balance, and in December 2010 she was diagnosed with MLD (Metachromatic Leukodystrophy). This is a progressive, degenerative brain disease with no cure.

Her little brother, born on my own Tanner Nanner's Birthday, was born with the same disease. The same fatal, devastating disease. But unlike Liviana, it's not too late for Giovanni. He and his family are currently in Italy, undergoing an experimental treatment in hopes of saving his life. Because he was diagnosed before any symptoms set in, there's hope. So both parents were forced to quit their jobs and move their family to Italy, to hopefully save their son's life. Giovanni is in the hospital 24/7 for months. He can't leave or see his brothers and sisters. His mom or dad or babysitter have to be with him at all times, which means one person is always missing out on either being there for Giovanni, or missing out on the precious little time they have with Liviana. The situation has to be unbearable.

I can't imagine the pain this causes their family. Tanner had a brief, one night hospital stay and my heart was aching. That can't even compare to how this family must feel everyday. Seeing them poke the needle in his arm for his IV broke my heart. I can't imagine how it must feel to see all of the tubes, needles, and hair loss that poor little Giovanni has gone through in this short amount of time.

So, why am I posting about this? Many reasons. It's been on my mind night and day. Having 2 children the same age as theirs just makes it so real to me. What if Callie just stopped walking? What if Tanner had to go to Italy for treatment? Would our friends and family be there? (Yes, I know you would.) Could I count on the kindness of strangers to help us out? How do you even wrap your head around something like this?? I am also posting in hopes that you, my family and friends  will donate. Even if it's $5 or $50, or whatever you can. Think of it as donating because THANK GOD Callie and Tanner are healthy, or your children are healthy. And if you were in this devastating situation, someone would be there for you.

As Amy always says, "Hug Your Babies" if they are 2 or 42, let them know how much you love them. Cherish all of the time you have with them. Realize that the "small stuff" we get caught up in every day just doesn't matter. It doesn't. What matters is that your children are surrounded with love, that you appreciate that they can walk, talk, and play and sing and dance. I've complained about my children getting sick, about ear infections, about allergies, but let me tell you, I'd obviously take a million ear infections compared to what these babies are facing.

Please take a little time to read Amy's blog. If you feel like donating, I'm leaving a link for that as well. If you have a business and would like to donate some items for an auction on 3/21 I will leave a link for that as well.!/TheirJourney

Sunday, March 6, 2011

And then there were none...

My kids are staying a few nights at Grammy's. You would think I would be really excited... right? A few days of "freedom...." Well, it's only SUNDAY and I am missing them like crazy. I have gotten a lot done. Some closets organized, clothes that they've outgrown that don't fit anymore, which really didn't ease my pain. Seeing the baby clothes (I know, I'm so far behind!) that Tanner wore just a year ago almost brought tears to my eyes.

There are some plus sides to having no children around though, and I am going to try to stay positive. I cleaned the windows today, and they are still clean now, three hours later. That's. pretty. amazing. I ate my meals without having to stop and get Callie a napkin, another spoon (because she has to have a separate spoon for different foods), or more milk. Tanner wasn't throwing his food on the ground or taking the food out of his mouth after I feed it to him (so he can do it himself, of course).

We went to Target to get some storage tubs for Tanner's clothes. I didn't have to look at the toy section, or deny a request for yet another package of silly bandz that never get worn. I didn't have to keep Tanner from cleaning the cart handle with his mouth, take Callie to the bathroom, or hear about how her feet hurt. We didn't have to pack a diaper bag, bundle up the kids, and hear Callie scream that she wants MOMMY to get her out of the car, not Daddy.

I wish I could say that I slept in today, but that didn't happen. I was up at 7:00 am.

I haven't watched Dora or ICarly all day. I haven't had to say "No, you can't have Oreos for lunch.." or "Be nice to your brother." I haven't had to tell Tanner to get out of the DVD drawer.

I haven't gotten any hugs or kisses from them today...
I haven't heard "Mommy" today...
I haven't seen Tanner's goofy expressions...
I haven't been able to see Tanner play with the phone and say "Hello" today...
I miss Tanner throwing food on the floor because he says "Uh oh" when he does it....
I haven't snuggled on the couch...
I wish I could see Callie laugh with her brother; she takes such good care of him...
I wish I could see Tanner jumping like a crazy man in his jumperoo...

It's only a few days. And I know it's good for them to spend quality time with Grammy and Grandpa. And they have a blast when they are there. Come on, chocolate milk and chocolate donuts for breakfast?! What kid could resist. Callie looks forward to having those tasty treats with Grandpa Jeff every time she goes there. And I think it's something she will always remember. And so I guess I can share the love for the next few days...

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Spring, Where are you?

I am soooo sick of winter. I usually don't get this way. I usually like winter, but still welcome Spring. I am over winter, so. over. it. I want to open up the windows, let some fresh air in, and most of all, have healthy children. We've had a lot of illnesses this winter. Or, I should say, Tanner has. Through everything, Callie has only had a double ear infection. I credit that to her going to a bigger daycare center for the first 3 years of her life, being exposed to germs, and now she has a stronger immune system. For Tanner, this is his real "first" winter. He was born last winter, I was on maternity leave, and we really didn't leave the house much. This year, we have a daycare in our house, so all of the germs come to us, wrapped up in a nice, snotty bow. Which is okay, it's part of childhood, it will only make him stronger. The daycare kids have pretty much all missed days here and there for various illnesses. It makes it hard to plan my week, I spend a lot of time sanitizing toys, washing hands, and wiping boogies.

I have started to daydream what Spring will be like....

Hopefully we will have a fence (FINALLY) in our backyard. I envision picnic lunches, a lot of bubble blowing, ball throwing, and summer saulting :) I can't wait for walks to the park. I can't wait to wipe maybe 3 noses a day, as opposed to 326 that I wipe now. (Followed by screams of utter terror because their poor little noses are so raw from all of the wiping!)

I look forward to soccer games going on in the soccer field behind our house. Callie likes to go watch. I don't mind it either!!

I heard a bird chirp on Tuesday. Craig said, and I am not lying and he was not kidding, "What was that noise?" I said, "what noise?" He said, "That NOISE!" It was a bird singing. Really. I thought he was joking but he just looked a little lost.

We bought Callie's Easter Dress! It's so cute. Craig doesn't like it, but I do. And of course, she wanted a hat. I let her get one, but I drew a line at the gloves. She threw herself on the ground over some ugly white gloves. It was a lot for me to approve the silly hat. Although, she looked adorable with it on, not gonna lie. We got outside and it was chilly, I said, "Jeez Cal, it's cold out here." And she said, "See, Mom, I told you we should have got the gloves!"

We've made it out to chalk the driveway, which was really fun. We've done bubbles, and played catch. We went a small walk. It was so nice.

I leave with a "sorry" because it's been so long in between my blogs. Like I said, I've been busy with the snot streams. I will leave you with some of my FAVORITE Spring/Summer pictures... please do your Spring dance. Thanks :)