Time is just going too fast for me. Everytime I turn around Tanner's saying new words, Callie's mastering a new skill, the newest being reading, and I get a year older. I wish I had a pause button because I know I am going to want these times back someday. Even during my worst day. Even when the kids are all screaming, the dog's whining, and all I want to do is go to the bathroom without eight kids beating the door down for something. I do have to stop and remind myself that they aren't little forever. Someday, they'll want nothing to do with me, they'll just want to go out with their friends.
I am getting a break from all of it soon. I'll be on a cruise with my husband, for the first time in six years. We are really, really looking forward to it. But I can't help but feel guilty about what I'll miss. Or that Tanner will be confused about where his parents are. At least he'll be with people he knows and loves.
I am looking forward to spending quality time with my husband. We don't get enough time to ourselves. I am looking forward to eating a meal without cleaning up a spill, getting more milk, cutting up someone else's food, or picking corn out of my hair. I'll have 11 days that I don't have to change any diapers, tell anyone to brush their teeth or feed the dog, and I will get to sleep whenever I want to. And go to the bathroom whenever I want to. I won't have to watch Dora, do dishes or laundry, or play Old Maid. I actually won't watch TV at all. I won't have to check my emails, I won't be on Facebook (unless there's free WiFi somewhere, then I'll post a pic to make you all jealous!), and I can disconnect for 11 days.
All of those daunting chores will go to someone else. Mostly, my sister, my mom, and my neighbor. They get all of the dirty diapers and snotty noses, but they also get all of the hugs and kisses. They get the five minutes of cuddle time both of my children require before starting their day. They get the bedtime stories and fun games. They get the smiles, they get to see Tanner jamming out and listen to Callie read them a book. I have never left them for this long of a time, and I am sure it will be harder on me than it is on them.
Sure, there will be moments on vacation where I want to hit the pause button. When my feet hit the sand and it's 80 degrees outside and I have all day to relax, explore, shop, and be with Craig and other friends and family. But it's a different kind of pause button. I can't wait until the kids are a little bit older and they can go with us next time.
Until then my sister and her husband, my neighbor, and my mom are more than happy to care for the most important gifts God has ever given me. And I know they will be just fine....
